You know you’re best friends when you spend the morning scrubbing the bathroom clean while singing along to Britney Spears and Blink-182, have my mom take pictures of us posing ridiculously with spray bottles and scrub brushes, conserve water by showering together, with our squeals of laughter echoing (loudly) off the tub walls, greet guests with green face masks on, and top it off with a fireworks spectacular in the park.

Happy Fourth of July!

Wuthering Heights (1992)- Voldemort never looked so good. And I don't care what anyone says; Heathcliff was an asshole. A broody, ruggedly handsome asshole. (I bet Tom Riddle would have been like that had he been a muggle. Teehee!)

Doubt- I really liked this movie. That's all. You should watch it. Without a doubt.

Trainspotting- Couldn't stop imitating a Scottish accent afterward. Also, I don't see what all the hype is about. McGregor was interesting to watch though.

Penelope- Another movie that likes to remind me that everyone will find love, except for me. It's a very cute fairytale nevertheless, with a very cute McAvoy and a very cute kiss that made me sighhh.

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister- Read the book a few years ago and liked it a lot. The movie wasn't quite as good, but otherwise cute. I should stop using that word.

He's Just Not that Into You- Don't I know it. I would say this is the story of my life, but all the ladies find guys that are into them even if temporarily, so...yeah, let's just keep rubbing it my face, thanks.

Oceans 12- Damn those cool cats.

And there you go. I should be joining Ebert & Roeper any day now.

On a different note, I've finally begun drawing again. I'm making a portrait for my bosom friend who is coming to visit on the 10th until late July. (more on that later). For the portrait, I started with regular graphite but added black pastel because I had to go darker and don't have any charcoals at the moment. It's looking good, methinks. This is the first in a series of portraits I hope to make.

I have finished my first year as a college student. This former awkward freshman is now a (still awkward, but) finally-ready-to-really-get-involved sophomore. Huzzah.

Insomnia decided to kick in the night before my last two, and most intense, finals. And no matter how tired I was last night after going on only 3 hours of sleep and six hours of writing (which went well, I believe), I couldn't fall asleep. Either could my remaining roommate (D left last night, L left about 10 minutes ago), so we took a Benadryl each and watched tv shows until the medicine and our fatigue finally took over.

Ok, now for what's really on my mind. Grades.
(skip to second-to-last line for moral of story. this might get boring)
I like to think I'm a good student. And by that I've always meant getting only A's and B's. I got exactly two C's in 4th grade because I didn't like finishing homework, and the homework was usually writing. After that I vowed to never get a C again, do all my homework, and to be awesome at writing. After that I never got lower than an A in English classes and it became one of my favorite subjects. Then in high school I got two C's, but they were in honors math (which I didn't even want to take) so while they nearly made me cry, I knew where my strengths lay by then.
Now I'm in college. A ridiculously competitive, ass-kicking college. And yesterday I found out I got a C in Biology. Biology. I aced bio in high school. I was going to be a biology major. It almost made me laugh after I almost cried. But for some reason, I'm okay with it. Not because a C from here won't look that bad on my transcript, but because it really doesn't matter that much to me anymore. Who cares what grade I got in Biology my freshman year of college? I remember our high school teachers talking to us about the rise in the obsession over grades that they noticed in recent years. It's not about the learning anymore. I can't say it's all the students' fault because I think colleges make us feel like we have to be perfect numbers in order to be worth anything. I worked really hard in Anthropology because I loved the subject. I learned so much that I could figuratively see the horizons of my mind expanding. I got A's on all my papers and the midterm, and hopefully on the final too. I feel like I deserve it because I earned it. I should be getting a B in Classics because that's how much effort I put into that class, and the quality of my work for it. Psychology, I admit, was an easy A, as long as I did the reading and the online quizzes on time. Which is what i did, so I'm good. But Bio, I went to lectures, fell asleep or dozed through most of them, came back to my room and never opened my textbook at all until two days before exams to look up a few things that i probably should have known about in the first place. I also got cocky after I aced the first midterm. I studied even less for the second one and after doing poorly on that gave up for the final. I do regret that, especially since exactly two more points would have given me a B-. But I feel like I deserve what I got. If I want something better, I have to earn it. Grades shouldn't be my aim; learning should always be the ultimate goal.
And that's the point of this long-winded, excessively detailed post.

I can't wrap my head around the fact that some people think it's okay to hate; to be arrogant and unapologetic; to invade a nation and start a war that aside from killing thousands of civilians, tears their lives and families apart, maims and tortures them, causes massive physical and mental injuries that will only escalate into more hate, leaves people in a state of mind that makes death the only and best alternative to a living hell, as well as not provide sufficient care for those that carried out the invading nation's agenda when they return with their own physical and mental injuries. How can one still believe itself to be righteous and the pinnacle of liberty and justice after all of that?

Does it make me a hypocrite for believing that I'm right to think this way?

May-
05- Finish reading The Spirit Catches You...
11- Classics paper due (9 pgs)
14- Psych final
15- Bio final
18- Anthro and Classics finals
19- Visit Davis?
20- Chillax
21- Go home!

Betty visited from Davis last weekend. I took her to the Blacklight Party at Bowles which was basically a massive orgy of glow in the dark bodies. But I was glad to show her how to party sober. It's not that hard, people. The next day I showed her around the really pretty parts of campus and the hobos on Telegraph too. It was nice bonding with her after so long. I've known her since 3rd grade and I'm glad our friendship has lasted up till now, even with our million fights and the fall out last year. Some things just never change (completely).
 
I haven't developed a thesis for my paper. I hate such open-endedness; I require structure! I haven't been weened off of prompts yet, dammit. I must be grateful to my GSI though. He's really helpful and provides a ton of secondary sources.
Speaking of GSIs, today was my last section for Anthro (I got an A- on my ethnography!). We will miss our totally awesome GSI uberly because he's just so chill and funny and adorable. We're his favorites (or so he says).

Must study and resist running away to People's Park to live with the hobos and smoke weed all day.